I am writing this to my daughter on the day of her birth one year later (her 1st b-day)
A leannan, mo chridhe,
My darling baby girl, I cannot believe how fast this last year has went. You have brought a joy & light to my life as no one else has. I want you to know how you came into the world. So I thought I'll write it down so I won't ever forget.
One year later is is still fresh in my mind....it was somewhere around 6am Sunday April 20th. We had been waiting for you for a while (I was about a week overdue, but due dates are never right anyway!) & on that Friday I started getting some braxton hicks contractions & the tell tale cleaning out of the body before birth (diarreah/vomiting). My doctor thought you were gonna come SOON so Grandmama came down that Friday so she wouln't miss anything! But you had another plan...Back to Sunday...there it was still dark in the early morning & I was pacing around our room feeling the contractions getting stronger & more regular. As they got stronger I went into my yoga poses to ease the pain. Although the pain was strong it was nothing unbearable.
A little while later Daddy & Grandmama were up & we knew it would be showtime soon. I fixed me some oatmeal & tea because I knew I would need to have strength, then when my contractions got 5 mins apart for 1 hour it was time to go to the hospital. But as we're going out the door we remembered we had to make a payment to make sure my website would continue to be up & running (it was expiring that day!). So I did that & then we we're out. That just shows you that even at that stage in labor, it does not have to be a crazy mad rush to the hospital. In between contractions I was calm & peaceful.
So there we were in the bright early morning Sunday around 9am, I went with Grandmama & Daddy took his car because we forgot the dog ran out of food, so he went down to the corner store to get that & then met us there. So we check in to the labor & delivery & are put in the triage room to see how far along I am (about 2-3 cm). The lady that is going to be there to help deliver you is a midwife, so I'm thinking yay we'll def be on the same page (and she was the same lady that had checked me the day before when i went in for a blood pressure check)!
Then we're waiting for the room to get set up & the midwife comes to check on me & as she's doing so my water breaks. The pain of labor is still not really that bad. So then we eagerly arrive in our "labor suite" I put out our birth plan & get comfortable. They try to put the fetal monitors on me but I say no I'm good (see why
HERE, the 2nd to last paragraph) I wanna be able to move around. Then in comes Daddy piled high with all the goods. He had the birth ball, massage oil, snacks, card games to play in case of a long wait, overnight luggage & about 3 different fits (I couldn't decide which one you would wear!) & supplies for the new bundle of joy! Labor is getting stronger when in comes the nurse trying to get me to read some papers & I'm like "I can't even do this right now I'm in labor!" LOL Then peoples cell phones are going off & people are chatting, that was my one crazy woman in labor thing. "GET OUT WITH THE CELL PHONES!" I screamed. Then there was peace.
All of a sudden I hear a commotion & look to Daddy, behind his shades, long tears roll down his face as he announces his beloved Granny has just passed away. I go to his side, sit on his lap & comfort him. Then the contractions start getting stronger & closer together, I must return to my relaxation techniques. I'm listening to my music on the ipod, doing my yoga poses (mostly childs pose & cow) on the birthing bed. The pain came in waves that felt like VERY strong cramps. Now I don't know bout you but I thought you know, I would be walking around & using all those goodies your dad brought, but no not me. You were well on your way!
Suddenly I feel a shift in your position (like you're in the birth canal now!) & some more water coming out. I yelled out "Somethings coming out of me!" (to my credit I was in pain & I wasn't sure what the liquid was) but that will go down forever in history as the hilariously obvious moment that I announced to the world that you were about to come out. Well I really did feel like you were about to come out...anyways, Grandmama ran out to get help. Meanwhile I'm still on my hands & knees on the bed. All of a sudden I hear these click clack noises, I look back & they are setting up the stirrups (aaaa!) & they're telling me to turn around. I say "NO, I want the birthing bar!!" They keep telling me I gotta turn around but I refuse & keep repeating that. Then the midwife tells me you're about to come out & they don't have time to set it up. So, reluctantly I turn around.
I guess by "she's about to come out" meant another 30 minutes of pushing to her because that's what happened! Liars! I should have gone with my first instinct (Mama's Intuition) & refused to turn around. Anyways, Daddy was on one side & Grandmama was on the other & they wiped my brow & gave me sips of tea & helped me bring you into the world. The nurses put a mirror up so I could see you when I pushed & it's funny I remember the midwife was playing with your hair, twirling it around her gloved finger. Finally, after only 3 hours in the hospital, you came to us. Slimey, wet & beautiful, you were put in my arms.
Then, you pooped on me. But I didn't care one bit! My baby girl was here after months of waiting & wondering, you were HERE!! All I could do was smile & a feeling of serene joy filled the room. You were so aware & you stared right at me, eyes gleaming. It's funny, I don't know how people get babies mixed up. If they brought me back a different baby I would instantly know. It's like the moment I saw you, you were etched in my heart.
A mother knows. That's what they say right? Does this happen to all mamas, I wonder? Then Daddy cut the cord & I, of course, started breastfeeding. For the first hour it was just me you Daddy & Grandmama. Major bonding time! Then Daddy & the nurse gave you a bath & we let everyone else in as they weighed you & took your measurements etc. Then they brought FOOD, heavenly food, so while loved ones were cooing & awwhing over you, I smashed on that feast! Later we were moved to our private room & after lots of visiting from family & friends, we all got to rest. AWWWHH, just us again, the sacred family bond of man, woman & child.
Te Amo,
Mama
PS So, even though I was on my back when I did the pushing (I know this is the reason why I ripped, yes OUCH!!!) I was so proud of the fact that I did it all with no drugs or pictocin & got you off to the best start in life possible!! And yes you have your great Granny's spirit! I came to find out later, that Granny passed around that same time my contractions started (this was told to me by Grandma M. as she woke up at the same time w/ stomach cramps that morning).
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DID YOU KNOW....the United States has the 2nd worst newborn death rate in the developed world?? How horrible! Here's a MUST WATCH vid!! (see trailer below for The Business of Being Born movie)
"A MUST w
atch for all pregnant women & men and any one who's ever thought of having a child: The Business of Being Born.
Birth is a miracle, a rite of passage, a natural part of life. But birth is also big business. The film interlaces intimate birth stories with surprising historical, political and scientific insights and shocking statistics about the current maternity care system."
Watch the trailer here: http://www.thebusinessofbeingborn.com/trailer.php& my post about it HERE:
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